Monthly Archives: September 2017

On Being Well-Adjusted

I am well-adjusted—if I do say so myself.  But I am not the only one who says so.  The voices in my head say that I am well-adjusted, too.

What makes say that I am well-adjusted?  My reaction, or lack of reaction, to a man at the YMCA who makes sexual suggestions to me.  I do not feel sexually harassed or angry when he does this.  I just laugh and dismiss his comments because I know it ain’t gonna happen.

“You’re lucky,” I said, “I’m secure in my masculinity.  I know guys who would punch you out for saying these things to them.”

“I know,” he said.

Gay bashing was big when I was a teenager and I could never understand why.  Guys would brag how they “punched out a faggot.”  And when I asked them why they did so they said, “Because he’s a faggot!”

Homosexuality is a threat to those men who are not secure about their masculinity.

So, this man can say whatever he wants.  It won’t affect me other than making me feel proud of being well-adjusted.


Time Loops?

This happens to me only when I am on the subway.

The subway leaves the Finch Station traveling southbound.  I start to read a book or simply daydream.  The subway stops at the North York Centre Station which is the next station.  People get off and get on.  Then the subway continues south towards the Sheppard Station.  At some point before the subway reaches the Sheppard Station, I become aware that the subway is still traveling southbound from Finch and has not yet stopped at the North York Centre Station.  When it does stop at the North York Centre Station, I am stopping there for the second time.

I used Finch, North York Centre and Sheppard stations, but it happens with other stations, too.

Am I experiencing time loops?  Am I jumping between parallel universes?  Or am I only imagining the first stops in the subway stations?  Who knows?

It happens to me at least once a day and sometimes twice.  I can’t be losing my mind because I lost it a long time ago.

Did I write this already?

A Few of My Favorite Things


Here are some things that make my life worth living:

Books:  I love books.  I love the feel of books.  I love the smell of books.  I love being surrounded by books and books and more books. I love when I am reading a book and I cannot put it down.

Silence:  I love silence.  No background music.  Just silence.  (Hard to find these days.)

Solitude:  I enjoy my company.  When I am alone, I crawl inside my head and play with the ideas there.  These ideas come from books, and The Beyond.  I never get bored.

Writing?  I have a love-dislike relationship with writing.  I love writing, but will find any excuse not to write.  But if I do not write, then I do not feel good.

I do not have to force myself to read books and find silence and solitude.  I have to force myself to write.  I understand what Dorothy Parker meant when she said, “I hate writing; I love having written.”

Al and Drew


Al and Drew do not know each other, but they came here from the same place.  Drew is still here, but I found out this morning that Al returned.

I have known Al since high school.  He married my sister’s friend Marilyn who also went to the same high school.

I was thinking about Al and Marilyn recently because they had a wedding anniversary on September 17.  I don’t know how many years they were married.

I had not seen Al and Marilyn recently, but I will be seeing Marilyn this week when we celebrate Al’s life.

I celebrated with Drew, my great-niece, yesterday.  We, family and friends, celebrated the first year of her life.  Drew went from Spirit to flesh on September 24, 2016.

Let us hope that Drew will be here a long time and has a good life before she returns to where she and Al came from.

What? The World Did Not End?

How disappointing that the world did not end today.  Now I have to do laundry.

Religious people are quick to quote from The Bible with their predictions of the world ending. And when you confront them with the fact that the world did not end as they predicted, they quote Matthew 24:36 where Jesus said, ““But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only.”   If no one knows the day or hour, then why do religious people keep using other parts of The Bible to predict the world ending?

What about the predicted date, September 23?  When they said that the world would end on September 23, they did not say in which time zone.  It is now, in Toronto, Saturday September 23 at 4:30 p.m.  But in Mumbai, it is Sunday September 24 at 2:00 a.m.  It would have been Saturday September 23 in Mumbai before it was Saturday September 23 in Toronto.  Would the world have ended in Mumbai first, and slowly worked through all the time zones?

Never mind The Bible, psychics, scientists or prophets.  I, Gary Johnston, will accurately predict when the world will end.  Are you ready?

The world will end when the world ends.

There!  You read it here first.

I Have Seen Everything

It’s okay if the world ends tomorrow because I have seen everything.

Yesterday, at the YMCA, I saw an old man walking to his locker which was close to mine.  He was naked.  A silver flash, from between his legs, caught my eye.  I couldn’t believe it!  He had a large silver ring with a large silver ball piercing the tip of his penis causing it to swing like a clapper.  If his thighs were metal, then he would have sounded like a church bell.

I don’t understand.  You take a body part that already has a hole in it, and put another hole in it near the first hole.  Then you take a large silver ring with a large silver ball and push it through the second hole.  It’s hard for me to see the advantage of doing this since I don’t even like wearing rings on my fingers.  And the thought of piercing my manhood?  Ouch!

The old man must love hanging low and swinging to and fro.

Oh well, my life is complete.  There is nothing more for me to see.

What If I Am Wrong?

What if I am wrong?  What if the world really does end this Saturday?  Where will the naysayers be to say, “See?  We told you so.”

Where will I be if the world ends?  Somewhere close to public transit and shopping I hope.


Oh No! Again?

Oh no!  The world is going to end—again.  On Saturday September 23, 2017, Planet X will crash into Earth thereby ruining some people’s plans for the day.

Planet X, or Niburu, was first mentioned by Zecharia Sitchin in his book The 12th Planet. Aliens, called Annunaki, came from Nibiru and created human beings as slaves to help mine the Earth’s gold.  Sitchin used ancient Sumerian texts as the basis for his theories.

Planet X was supposed to crash into Earth in 2003.  When that didn’t happen, the prediction was that it would do so on December 21, 2012. I don’t think that happened either.  Now it is supposed to happen, for sure, this Saturday come rain or shine.  Some claim that the recent hurricanes and earthquakes are warnings that the end is near.

This gives us 4 days to prepare for the end of the world.  But how does one prepare for the end of the world?  Return library books to avoid late fees?  File income taxes?  Stand still and wait until it’s time to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye?

I guess I won’t be ready for the end of the world.  For the next 4 days, I will carry on as usual. I will even buy green bananas because on Sunday September 24, all of us will be carrying on as usual. N

It’s About Time!


“It’s about time!”

I know Blog.  We last met on August 24th.

“That’s over three weeks ago.  What were you doing for the past three weeks?”

Thinking about writing while staring at a wall.

“What?  Were you in jail?”


“A mental hospital?”


“You just stared at a wall?”

Yes, I do that sometimes when I brood.

“Where was the wall?”

At a place where I was staying.

“And what were you brooding over?”

How I should be writing.  The more I did not write, the more I brooded over how I should be writing.

“Less thinking and more doing might be a good plan.”

Yes, it would be.

“Well, I’m glad we finally met today.  I was beginning to feel like a single woman at a gay male bar.  When will I see you again?”

Soon, I hope, soon.