Monthly Archives: March 2018

What’s The Big Deal With Facebook?

So what’s all the fuss about Facebook selling information?  People didn’t know that Facebook does this?  What did people think?  That Facebook was free?

Big Brother is watching and he is sneaky in how he watches.

Loblaws grocery store agreed to give customers a $25.00 gift certificate to compensate for a bread price-fixing scheme.  To get the gift card, customers had to go online and give personal information.  Once the card arrived in the mail, customers had to go online and key in the number on the card to “activate” the card.  So now Loblaws has a customer’s personal information along with a way of knowing what the customer buys.  Of course, Loblaws is not going to use this information to recover the cost of the gift certificates, and make a profit.  Why would they want to do that?

No matter how much privacy is promised, anything we put online is not private.  Facebook will go through the motions of tightening up its privacy, but it is just cosmetics.  Facebook and other free social networking sites make their money from using our personal data.

Big Brother is watching . . .



Another Shower Experience

When I walked into the YMCA shower room yesterday morning, a little boy immediately locked his eyes on my crotch.  He watched intensely, and his head turned to follow me as I walked by him.  He was about 4 years old.  His father was showering beside him.

After I walked by him, the boy turned to his father and said, “Daddy, that man is old!”

“Shhhhhh!” said his father.

And then the boy continued to stare at my crotch as I showered.  He never stopped staring the whole time I was in the shower.  I pretended not to notice, but it bothered me having my crotch watched so intently.

The boy was right.  I am old—at least compared to his age.

What standards did he use to judge my age from staring at my crotch?  You can tell the age of a tree by counting the rings in its trunk.  I have no rings in my crotch, but I do have wrinkles.  Did the boy count the wrinkles to determine my age?  Who knows?

Sorry For The Inconvenience


The Toronto Transit Commission (TTC), Toronto’s public transit, does not have enough public washrooms.  How upsetting, to say the least, when the TTC closes one of its rare washrooms for whatever reason.

Here is what I would like to do when I can’t use a closed washroom.  I would like to take a huge dump—a ginormous dump!—on the floor under the sign by the washroom door.   And then I would place a sign sticking out from the dump:

I had to really go.  Sorry for the inconvenience.

A Sensual Experience

As I mentioned, I enjoy being on my own.  There are times when I would love to fall asleep hugging someone, but that is a nice thought for now.  My only thoughts about sex are how there should be three spaces as choices on an application:  MaleFemale and Whatever.

I do have one sensual experience I enjoy every day, and have no problem doing it by myself . . . Get your minds out of the gutter.  It’s having a shower.  I love showering!  I could stand in the shower all day.  I love the warmth.  I love the hot water bouncing off my body.  I love how the water massages my body.  I love watching all my troubles go down the drain.  Did I mention that I could stand in the shower all day?

After I stop the shower, and it is so hard to stop, I love the feeling of the towel massaging my body.  It picks up where the shower left off.

And now for the climax.  Every sensual experience has a climax.  I take two cotton swabs, one in each hand, and gently clean out the water in both ears at the same time.  Oh, what a feeling!

So there you have my daily sensual experience.  Do I need to get a life?

Ah, Spring!

Ah, Spring!  It’s my favorite time of the year.  The days get longer and love is in the air—not near me, of course.  I enjoy watching love in the air around other people and keep my distance from it.

I enjoy my company.  I can do whatever I want when I want.  It wouldn’t be fair to my partner if I was like this in a relationship.

I am surprised at the number of women who keep telling me how I should not be on my own and that I need to be in a relationship.  They know what is better for me than I do?

As far back as I can remember, I enjoyed doing things by myself—even as a kid.  When I was 7 years old my teacher told me, “You have to learn to be with people and do things with people.  If you don’t, then you will die a lonely old man.”

I can hardly wait.

Political Correctness and St. Patrick’s Day

At Christmas, we are not allowed the say, “Merry Christmas.”  The politically correct crowd tell us that we do not want to offend those who are not Christians and/or those who do not celebrate Christmas.  We have to say, “Happy Holidays.”  And many non-Christians, etc., are insistent that we do not offend them by wishing them a “Merry Christmas.”  These people still get the Christmas holidays off.

On St. Patrick’s Day in Toronto, the Toronto Transit Commission (TTC – public transit) allowed free rides from 4:30 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. on the Queen, King and Cherry Street streetcars.   The TTC did this to encourage people not to drink and drive.

What about those TTC passengers who are not Irish and do not celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?  Did they get on the streetcars and say, “I am not Irish and do not celebrate St. Patrick’s Day.  I insist on paying the streetcar fare.”?


Note:  I would have posted this yesterday, but the snakes ate my computer.

A Silly Conspiracy

Silly conspiracy theorists say that there was a plot to kill Julius Caesar on March 15, 44 B.C.  Playwright William Shakespeare popularized this theory in a play.  A playwright?  Now there’s a reliable source for you!

There is no evidence that Julius Caesar died as the result of a conspiracy.  No doubt Caesar died on March 14, 44 B.C.  But it was a suicide.

Besides being an emperor, Caesar also ran a catering business which was known for its great salads.  Caesar had the catering business to support his gambling habit.  Caesar owed the Mafia a lot of money and his catering business was not doing so well.  He could not see a way out.  On March 15, 44 B.C., he took his own life in front of his friends at the Senate.  Because he was such a great emperor and well-liked, his friend made up a conspiracy theory about how he had died.  They also wanted to save his family embarrassment.

Now you know the truth.

Albert, Stephen and Pi

Albert Einstein’s reaction to the question, “What’s it like to be born on Pi Day?”

March 14 is Pi Day.  (3.14 – the first three numbers of pi.) Albert Einstein is 139 years old today.  He is spending his birthday entertaining Stephen Hawking.

Stephen was 76 years old when he decided to go to a better climate to solve physics problems.  If you add 7 plus 6, you get 13.  Thirteen is one number less than 14, the first two numbers after the decimal point of Pi.  This does not mean anything, but I thought I would mention it.

Happy Pi Day!

Trigonometry Instead of Writing

I have used my writing time trying to understand some mathematical concepts.  Specifically, I am trying to understand some advanced concepts of Trigonometry.  I got myself to the high-school level and am now attempting the college level.  What a challenge!

I have borrowed the Dummies and Idiot Guide books from the library.  They claim to simplify Trigonometry.  Lots of times they introduce concepts that are not simple.  Or maybe these concepts are simple, and I am dumber than an idiot.

YouTube instruction videos have helped.  I google a concept that I don’t understand, and then watch the video a thousand times before I get it.  Sometimes I have to watch a video two thousand times.

Too bad they didn’t have YouTube when I was in school.  Of course, there were no schools on Earth when I was in school.  I had to walk to Mars to go to school.  Sometimes if the emptiness of space was nice, I would ride my bike to Mars. But that was rare.  Mostly I walked.  Kids these days don’t realize how good they have it by having schools on the same planet that they live on.

I still feel resistance to learning new things—especially when the concepts are difficult.  What joy when I finally understand something I have struggled with!  Plus, I do not feel so bad about not writing when I have used the time to wrap my head around sines, cosines, tangents, angles, triangles, degrees, minutes, seconds, circles, radians, vectors, velocity, and kumquats.

I know that kumquats have nothing to do with trigonometry.  I love the word kumquat, and try to use kumquat as much as possible.

Facing Myself on Paper II

“So, what did you think about when you stared off into space?”

Many things.

“Can you tell me some?”

Okay.  Sometimes I thought about nothing.  My mind was blank.  Sometimes I thought about my brother-in-law, Don, and how I could not believe he was dead.  He never liked discussing spiritual matters while he was alive.  Does he like discussing them now?

I thought about my death.  When would it happen?  Will it be sudden?  A long time ago a Ouija board said that I would die the first week of August, 2018.   If this is true, then I have less than six months to live.  Perhaps I shouldn’t borrow any thick books from the library.  But maybe I won’t die in less than six months.  Maybe scientists will discover that eating bananas makes you live forever.  Then again, would I want to live forever while all I know passes away?

I thought about how my older sister said that I have “mental health issues.”  She was serious.  It was during a discussion (argument) over whether I was right to follow my gut feelings.  I suppose she would know because “mental health issues” run in the family and—

“And you talk to voices in your head.”

 True.  As a voice in my head, do you have mental health issues?

“Of course!  I wouldn’t be in your head if I didn’t.”

That’s nice to know.

“What else did you think about while looking off into space?”

I thought about writing.  I thought about writing.  And I thought about writing.