Author Archives: Gary Johnston

Some Thoughts On Thanksgiving Weekend

It’s Thanksgiving weekend in Canada.  Canadian Thanksgiving is always the second Monday in October.

Thanksgiving in Canada is not the big deal it is in the United States.  But that is typical of comparing anything Canadian to its American counterpart.

Look at the championship football game.  America has THE SUPER BOWL.  Canada has the Grey Cup.  No doubt THE SUPER BOWL came from Planet Krypton delivered personally by Superman.   Albert Grey bought the Grey Cup in a dollar store.  It was made in China.

What about terrorist attacks?  Canada’s latest terrorist attack had the terrorist stabbing a police officer before plowing his truck into pedestrians injuring four.  No one died.  Compare this to what happened in Las Vegas.

Four U.S. presidents have been assassinated.  Abraham Lincoln, James A. Garfield, William McKinley and John F. Kennedy were still in office when they were killed.  There was an attempt on Ronald Reagan’s life while he was president.  No Canadian prime minister has been assassinated.  There was an attempt on Prime Minister Jean Chretien’s life.

In the wee hours of November 5, 1995, André Dallaire was outside the prime minister’s residence at 24 Sussex Drive, Ottawa.  (Canada’s White House.)  Dallaire spent 20 minutes throwing stones and waving at security cameras.  He then climbed the fence and went to the house where he broke in by smashing a glass door.  He wandered around the basement and ground floor for 30 minutes before heading to the bedroom.  Once there he was confronted by the prime minister’s wife Aline.  She ran back into the bedroom and locked the door.  She told the prime minister about the intruder, but he said that it was “just a dream.”  She dialed the police officers stationed outside the house about an intruder trying to kill the prime minister.

Fortunately Dallaire, a paranoid schizophrenic, did not attempt to break down the door.  He waited for the police to arrive.  It took the police 7 minutes to respond because the first officer forgot his key to the prime minister’s residence.

Compare that farce to President Kennedy having his head blown off in broad daylight.

No bout adoubt it, the U.S. always Trumps Canada no matter what.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Again? Yes, Again.

For those who were disappointed that the world did not end on September 23, there is hope.  David Meade, who predicted the world ending on September 23, claims he got the date wrong.  When the world did not end on September 23, he said that the world would end on October 15.  Now he is predicting that the world will end on October 21, 2017, with some catastrophic events beginning in October.

I hope he is right.  I don’t want to shovel snow this winter.

I also hope that the weather is sunny and clear on October 21.  What a tragedy if rain ruins the end of the world.

On Being Well-Adjusted

I am well-adjusted—if I do say so myself.  But I am not the only one who says so.  The voices in my head say that I am well-adjusted, too.

What makes say that I am well-adjusted?  My reaction, or lack of reaction, to a man at the YMCA who makes sexual suggestions to me.  I do not feel sexually harassed or angry when he does this.  I just laugh and dismiss his comments because I know it ain’t gonna happen.

“You’re lucky,” I said, “I’m secure in my masculinity.  I know guys who would punch you out for saying these things to them.”

“I know,” he said.

Gay bashing was big when I was a teenager and I could never understand why.  Guys would brag how they “punched out a faggot.”  And when I asked them why they did so they said, “Because he’s a faggot!”

Homosexuality is a threat to those men who are not secure about their masculinity.

So, this man can say whatever he wants.  It won’t affect me other than making me feel proud of being well-adjusted.

Time Loops?

This happens to me only when I am on the subway.

The subway leaves the Finch Station traveling southbound.  I start to read a book or simply daydream.  The subway stops at the North York Centre Station which is the next station.  People get off and get on.  Then the subway continues south towards the Sheppard Station.  At some point before the subway reaches the Sheppard Station, I become aware that the subway is still traveling southbound from Finch and has not yet stopped at the North York Centre Station.  When it does stop at the North York Centre Station, I am stopping there for the second time.

I used Finch, North York Centre and Sheppard stations, but it happens with other stations, too.

Am I experiencing time loops?  Am I jumping between parallel universes?  Or am I only imagining the first stops in the subway stations?  Who knows?

It happens to me at least once a day and sometimes twice.  I can’t be losing my mind because I lost it a long time ago.

Did I write this already?

A Few of My Favorite Things


Here are some things that make my life worth living:

Books:  I love books.  I love the feel of books.  I love the smell of books.  I love being surrounded by books and books and more books. I love when I am reading a book and I cannot put it down.

Silence:  I love silence.  No background music.  Just silence.  (Hard to find these days.)

Solitude:  I enjoy my company.  When I am alone, I crawl inside my head and play with the ideas there.  These ideas come from books, and The Beyond.  I never get bored.

Writing?  I have a love-dislike relationship with writing.  I love writing, but will find any excuse not to write.  But if I do not write, then I do not feel good.

I do not have to force myself to read books and find silence and solitude.  I have to force myself to write.  I understand what Dorothy Parker meant when she said, “I hate writing; I love having written.”

Al and Drew


Al and Drew do not know each other, but they came here from the same place.  Drew is still here, but I found out this morning that Al returned.

I have known Al since high school.  He married my sister’s friend Marilyn who also went to the same high school.

I was thinking about Al and Marilyn recently because they had a wedding anniversary on September 17.  I don’t know how many years they were married.

I had not seen Al and Marilyn recently, but I will be seeing Marilyn this week when we celebrate Al’s life.

I celebrated with Drew, my great-niece, yesterday.  We, family and friends, celebrated the first year of her life.  Drew went from Spirit to flesh on September 24, 2016.

Let us hope that Drew will be here a long time and has a good life before she returns to where she and Al came from.

What? The World Did Not End?

How disappointing that the world did not end today.  Now I have to do laundry.

Religious people are quick to quote from The Bible with their predictions of the world ending. And when you confront them with the fact that the world did not end as they predicted, they quote Matthew 24:36 where Jesus said, ““But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only.”   If no one knows the day or hour, then why do religious people keep using other parts of The Bible to predict the world ending?

What about the predicted date, September 23?  When they said that the world would end on September 23, they did not say in which time zone.  It is now, in Toronto, Saturday September 23 at 4:30 p.m.  But in Mumbai, it is Sunday September 24 at 2:00 a.m.  It would have been Saturday September 23 in Mumbai before it was Saturday September 23 in Toronto.  Would the world have ended in Mumbai first, and slowly worked through all the time zones?

Never mind The Bible, psychics, scientists or prophets.  I, Gary Johnston, will accurately predict when the world will end.  Are you ready?

The world will end when the world ends.

There!  You read it here first.

I Have Seen Everything

It’s okay if the world ends tomorrow because I have seen everything.

Yesterday, at the YMCA, I saw an old man walking to his locker which was close to mine.  He was naked.  A silver flash, from between his legs, caught my eye.  I couldn’t believe it!  He had a large silver ring with a large silver ball piercing the tip of his penis causing it to swing like a clapper.  If his thighs were metal, then he would have sounded like a church bell.

I don’t understand.  You take a body part that already has a hole in it, and put another hole in it near the first hole.  Then you take a large silver ring with a large silver ball and push it through the second hole.  It’s hard for me to see the advantage of doing this since I don’t even like wearing rings on my fingers.  And the thought of piercing my manhood?  Ouch!

The old man must love hanging low and swinging to and fro.

Oh well, my life is complete.  There is nothing more for me to see.

What If I Am Wrong?

What if I am wrong?  What if the world really does end this Saturday?  Where will the naysayers be to say, “See?  We told you so.”

Where will I be if the world ends?  Somewhere close to public transit and shopping I hope.


Oh No! Again?

Oh no!  The world is going to end—again.  On Saturday September 23, 2017, Planet X will crash into Earth thereby ruining some people’s plans for the day.

Planet X, or Niburu, was first mentioned by Zecharia Sitchin in his book The 12th Planet. Aliens, called Annunaki, came from Nibiru and created human beings as slaves to help mine the Earth’s gold.  Sitchin used ancient Sumerian texts as the basis for his theories.

Planet X was supposed to crash into Earth in 2003.  When that didn’t happen, the prediction was that it would do so on December 21, 2012. I don’t think that happened either.  Now it is supposed to happen, for sure, this Saturday come rain or shine.  Some claim that the recent hurricanes and earthquakes are warnings that the end is near.

This gives us 4 days to prepare for the end of the world.  But how does one prepare for the end of the world?  Return library books to avoid late fees?  File income taxes?  Stand still and wait until it’s time to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye?

I guess I won’t be ready for the end of the world.  For the next 4 days, I will carry on as usual. I will even buy green bananas because on Sunday September 24, all of us will be carrying on as usual. N