On Tuesday, a non-Asian man stared at me in the shower at the YMCA. He wore black-framed glasses. I could see him with a pen pouch full of pens in his shirt pocket, and not dressed in the latest style. In other words, he looked like a geek.
He just stood and stared while the shower water bounced off his back. He never washed or moved. He had lust in his eyes. I tried to enjoy my shower, but found his staring disturbing. I did my best to ignore him, finished my shower, and left with him still standing and staring.
On Wednesday, an Asian man stared at me in the shower. He was not wearing glasses. Unlike Tuesday’s geek, this man moved and showered. At times his head faced me while the front of his body faced the wall. Once again, I found it disturbing the way he kept staring at me. He, too, stayed in the shower after I finished.
Today, an Asian man wearing black-framed glasses stared at me. He, too, moved while showering. At times his head turned 180 degrees to keep me in his gaze.
This is payback for all the times I made women feel uncomfortable by gawking at them. I now understand how uncomfortable they felt.
I promise never to stare at another woman again—at least not long stares. Perhaps just a few polite quick gawks so the women don’t feel uncomfortable.
In the meantime, I will endure my fate giving thanks that all the men do is stare at me, and don’t do anything else.
Some may think that I’m catatonic when I sit and stare off into space. No television. No radio. No music playing. Just me sitting and staring. Lots of thoughts? No thoughts? I don’t remember once I stop staring.
I like staring and doing nothing. Some say that it is mentally healthy for you to take time from your busy life to sit and do nothing. I would do it a lot more if I did not have limits.
One of the limits in my life is the library closing. I can’t sit and stare very long when I need to get online before the library closes. How long would I sit and stare if the library never closed? Long I think.
Is sitting and staring a form of meditation? Perhaps. Too bad we didn’t get paid for doing so.