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A Shower!

When you are a nomad, and can’t shower every day, the three areas to keep clean are your armpits, your crotch, and your butt.  You can get by without a shower if you wash these areas daily.  The only problem with washing in public washrooms is dodging zealous security guards. These security guards want to make the Universe a better place.

“You can’t wash in here,” shouts the security guard.

“But it’s a washroom,” I say.

“That doesn’t mean you can wash in here,” says the security guard.

His logic escapes me, but then I never went to security-guard school.

I showered at a friend’s place on May 31.  For the month of June, I washed in public washrooms.  I must have smelled okay.  I went to two social functions during June and none of my friends said anything.  Were they being polite?

I longed for a shower, a nice long hot shower.

I started making some extra money and had enough money to join the YMCA.  On Friday June 30, I joined.  While I was filling out the paperwork I kept thinking, “Tomorrow, I’m going to have a shower!  Tomorrow, I’m going to have a shower!”

I could not fall asleep Friday night because I was so excited about being able to have a shower.  I was like a kid on Christmas Eve anticipating Christmas morning.

“I’m going to have a shower!  I’m going to have a shower!”

I finally fell asleep, but was up early Saturday morning.

“I’m going to have a shower!  I’m going to have a shower!”

I was so excited thinking about a shower, as I took the subway to the YMCA, that I wanted to run up to people on the subway and shout, “Hey Mister, I’m going to have a shower!  Hey Lady, I’m going to have a shower!  Hey World, I’m going to have a shower!”  But I contained myself.

It’s a short walk from the subway to the YMCA.  As soon as I saw the YMCA I thought, “That’s the building where I’m going to have a shower!  That’s the building where I am going to have a shower!”

I went in.  I worked out.  And then?  And then I had the longest shower in history.  I soaped up and rinsed off a thousand times, and then I stood under the shower for a long time with the water bouncing off me.  I was in Heaven!

Funny how such a simple thing like shower can bring such joy.