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What The Bible Really Said?

A well-meaning Christian stopped me on Yonge Street while I was on my way to the library.

“Do you know what The Bible really said?” she asked.

“Nothing,”  I said. “The Bible can’t talk.”

She did not laugh and walked away.

How come God’s sense of humor did not make it into religion?  He has such a great sense of humor, a tremendous sense of humor!   Yet so many religious people take it all so seriously. Laughing in church, when I was a kid, meant you would go to Hell.  Of course, not being able to laugh made me giggle all the more.  I usually stopped giggling when my Sunday School teacher glared at me.

How do I know God has a great sense of humor?  He created human beings.

If The Bible could talk, then it should say, “Live!  Love!  Laugh!”

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FAMILY VALUES?

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Abraham had a wife named Sarai and Sarai had a servant named Hagar.  Sarai said to Abraham, “The Lord has kept me from having children.  Go and make love to my servant.  Maybe I can have a family through her.”

Oddly enough, Abraham agreed to what Sarai said.                                         – Genesis 16

 

Lot insisted the two male angels, who arrived at Sodom, stay at his house.  The men of Sodom surrounded Lot’s house and said, “Where are the men who came to your house tonight?  Bring them out to us.  We want to have sex with them.”

Lot went out to the men and said, “Don’t do such an evil thing.  I have two daughters who are virgins.  I’ll bring them out and you can do whatever you want with them.”

The men insisted on Lot sending out the angels . . .

After God had destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, and his wife turned to a pillar of salt for looking back, Lot and his daughters lived in a cave in the mountains.  One day the older daughter said to her sister, “Our father is getting old.  There aren’t any other men to make love to.  Let’s get our father drunk so we can make love to him and continue the family line.”

They did.  The older daughter had a son Moab, and the younger daughter had a son, Benammi.     – Genesis 19

 

Gideon had many wives and a concubine who bore him 70 sons.     – Judges 8

 

To sum up we have,

  • A wife offering her servant to her husband to have children,
  • A father offering his daughters to men for sex,
  • Daughters sleeping with their father to carry on the family line, and
  • A man having many wives and a concubine.

Are these the family values religious leaders want us to follow?

FOR SURE DOMINIC KNOWS

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For sure Dominic knows what happens after the body dies.  It’s been a week since he let his body go.  Yesterday (March 4) was his funeral.

The priest killed the joyful mood at Dominic’s funeral by reading passages from The Bible.  After he finished reading these passages he said, “May God’s words comfort you.”  I was not comforted.  I had tuned out waiting for the reading to end.  I imagined Dominic had tuned out, too.  Now free of his sick, failing body, Domenic continued to bask in the Unconditional Love permeating the Universe.  What comfort did he need from The Bible?

How comforting when Dominic’s nephew Michael got up and spoke about his uncle.  Michael spoke words from his heart, and his words went to my heart.  The same thing happened when Dominic’s friend Garry got up to speak.  Garry’s words went from his heart to my heart.

I cried during these heartfelt eulogies, but my tears soothed me.  I laughed, too, when Michael and Garry said funny things.  I’m sure Dominic approved of the laughter.

People applauded after Michael and Garry spoke.  No one applauded after hearing passages from The Bible.

By the way, Dominic never believed in an afterlife.  I bet he does now.

THE END THE WORLD?

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So, how are we enjoying the end of the world so far?  It’s not bad for me, but I wish there was a little more sunshine.

How is Chris McCann enjoying the end of the world?  He’s the eBible leader who said that the world would end, by fire, on October 7, 2015.  Did he get up this morning and bother to make breakfast?

I cannot remember the name of the book or author because I read it around the time the world was created.  The author’s argument was that our propensity for fear and doom and gloom stems from our lack of connection to that Still Small Voice Inside, our Inner Divinity.  He wrote that if we were in touch with our Inner Divinity, then we have no fear knowing that nothing ends because everything goes in circles.

READING SCRIPTURE, PRAISING JESUS, SINGING HYMNS AND TWENTY DOLLARS

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A homeless women spends her days at the North York Central Library.  She has all her possessions in a large, black truck-shaped canvas bag on wheels.  When she arrives at the library, she immediately goes to the handicapped washroom.  She occupies the washroom for several hours reading out loud from her Bible, praising Jesus, and singing hymns.  After she finishes her washroom service, she sits at a table and opens a book.  Soon she puts her head down on the table and is fast asleep.  She sleeps until the library closes.

While she slept yesterday, a generous man placed a twenty-dollar bill by her hand and book.  How kind of him!  What a pleasant surprise for her when she awoke.

This was not the first time I have seen someone leave money for her while she sleeps.  Perhaps there is some benefit to reading scripture, praising Jesus, and singing hymns in a public washroom.

Twenty-Dollar-Bill

THE WORLD WILL END OCTOBER 7, 2015

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According to Chris McCann, President of eBible Fellowship Ministries, the world will end on October 7, 2015.   (I will return all my library books by October 7.  I do not want any overdue fines after the world ends.)

In a radio interview, Chris McCann said that Harold Camping’s prediction of the world ending on May 21, 2011 was not incorrect; that “it was a spiritual judgement rather than a physical judgement.”  McCann said, “The Biblical evidence is that we were correct concerning Judgement Day, but we were off regarding the nature of the judgement.”

McCann said that Judgement Day is not a single event, but occurs over a period of time.  Based on numerical information in The Bible, this period of time lasts 1,600 days.  Sixteen hundred days from May 21, 2011 is October 7, 2015.  He said that this information is not based on dreams or visions, but biblical insights previously hidden by God.  God is revealing these insights as Judgement Day approaches.

If the world does not end on October 7, 2015, then McCann said that he will “keep looking to The Bible” for clues about Judgement Day.  (He may have better luck looking for the Holy Grail.)

Assuming what Chris McCann says is true, then I have a few questions for God:

  1. As The Creator of Everything and knowing everything, did you not know how we human beings would behave when you created us?
  2. Was it not poor planning, knowing what humans are like, to create human beings only to destroy them because they misbehaved?
  3. Just how powerful and almighty are you if what human beings do affects you and makes you angry?

Here’s what I think:

  • The world will not end on October 7, 2015.
  • In Reality there is no world.  In Reality there is only Spirit which cannot be destroyed.
  • God’s only Judgement is “I love you unconditionally.” 

There is nothing—Nothing!—anyone can do to change this Judgement or affect the Peace of God.  Amen.

MAY THESE WORDS COMFORT YOU

The minister at a funeral started the service reading passages from The Bible — mostly Jesus’ words.  When finished the minister said, “May these words comfort you.”

They did not.  We were not comforted.  We had sat dead still while God’s worn-out words limped out of the minister’s mouth and died on the floor.   The minister’s monotone voice did not help.  The room was dead.

Then the deceased’s son got up to speak.
“I’m going to be strong,” he said, “and try to get through this without breaking down.”

(What kind of world do we live in where it is a sign of strength not to cry in public?)

The deceased’s son spoke from the heart.  The son’s words flowed, and soon so did his tears.  He praised his father, and spoke about his father’s love.  The son soon broke down and cried.  His brothers and sisters got up to hold and support him.  The son finished his eulogy with his siblings’ support.

How moving!  The room had risen from the dead!   No one had to say, “May these words comfort you.”  We were comforted  — ever so comforted!   Hearing the passionate and heartfelt words of a son for his father did more to comfort us than any words the minister said.

 

 

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