My Resistance

I want to learn everything, but hold back doing so.  Part of me feels safe with the knowledge I have.  This part is afraid of change.  If I let this part rule me, then I would not be learning how to factor polynomials, and solving equations and inequations.

It’s like my relationship with writing.  I resist writing, but love doing so once I start.  I resist learning new things, but love doing so once I start.  And after I start writing and learning, I always think, “Look how much fun this is!  Why did I procrastinate?

You would think that I would remember that writing and learning are fun.  You would think that I would remember that I rob myself of pleasure when I procrastinate.  You would think that I would remember that my thoughts about how painful writing and learning will be are always false.  But I don’t remember.  I resist and make excuses for not writing, and not learning before I actually start to write and start to learn.

Too bad I wasn’t married.  I could blame my wife for my irrational behavior instead of having to take responsibility for it.

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About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on May 10, 2017, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I definitely can relate to all of this… As a partner in procrastination, I encourage you to that in which you love… And that you do well..

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