The Dark Chocolate Menace

The subtitle for this blog is, Where Are The Transit Officers When You Need Them?

The incident took place last night on the northbound subway ride between the Eglinton and Finch stations.

I was minding my business reading a book.  I could feel someone staring at me.  I looked up and saw a man walking towards me. Hatred and madness waltzed in his eyes.  He stopped in front of me and dropped a crumpled candy wrapper on my shoes.  Then he walked to the doorway beside me and glared and mumbled something.

“I beg your pardon?” I said.

“I’m not talking to you, you fucking ___________,” he said mumbling the last part.

He said that he was not talking to me, yet he continued to glare at me and mumble.  I could not understand what he was saying, but I knew he wasn’t telling me how much he loved me. There were lots of vacant seats, but he chose to stand beside me, glare, and mumble.

Naturally, the transit officers were somewhere else being concerned about my safety.  I was scared, but I thought, “I’m gonna ignore him unless he hits me.”  I like to think that I took the high road, but, in fact, I am a coward.

The man was about 6 feet tall (1.8 meters) with a medium build.  He wore a black baseball cap, black waist-length jacket, black jeans and carrying a black bag.  Was he a Tamil or Sri Lankan?  His skin was dark chocolate.  How silly that he is darker than I am, but he is considered brown, and light-brown me is considered black.  Duh?

Occasionally the Dark Chocolate Menace (DCM) would stop mumbling to loudly burp at me.   He would resume his loving mumbling after the burp.  He burped several times.

As the train approached Finch Station, DCM stopped his glaring and mumbling and burping.  He walked from the doorway on my left, to the doorway on my right down the train a bit.  He left the subway through that doorway.  I kept my distance, but I could see him looking at other people with hatred.

DCM went up the stairs from the subway level, of the Finch Station, to the second level. Beside him was a young man who looked like a student.  When DCM and the student got to the top of stairs, DCM shouted at the student, “Stop fucking around!  Stop fucking around!” The bewildered student looked at DCM, and then walked away.

DCM took the escalator from the second level to the third level.  Beside him was an Asian woman.  He looked at her and said, “Do any of you people look different?  You all look the fucking same.”  The woman said nothing.

On the third level, I was ahead of DCM, but I kept looking back because I was concerned about my safety.  DCM started walking quickly towards me.  He was almost running.  He got ahead of me about 10 feet (3 meters) and stopped.  He turned towards me.  I stopped.  He raised his fist as if he was about to punch me.  Oh, the hatred, anger, and insanity in his eyes!  He screamed, “Fuuuuuuuuck!”  Then he dropped his fist, turned and ran to the escalator.  The escalator goes to the fourth and bus level.  He ran up the escalator, pushing people out of his way, and boarded the 199A Finch Bus eastbound which was not the bus I was going to board.

I breathed relief and wondered, “Why do I attract so many people who are missing bacteria from their yogurt?  Does like attract like?”




About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on March 2, 2017, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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