Introducing Mr. Bear

You really do encounter an odd bunch of people at the library.  In previous blogs, I have mentioned Teddy Bear Man, Dolly Lady, Mr. Ping and other nutbars.  Ladies and Gentlemen, Introducing Mr. Bear.

Mr. Bear is short.  He has the rectangular body of a bear.  Bags sit on fat cheeks under his brown eyes.  He combs his thinning black hair back.  Except for the nose, Mr. Bear looks like President Lyndon B. Johnson.  Mr. Bear’s nose is flat and fat.

Mr. Bear did not get his name because of his bear-shaped body.  Mr. Bear likes to growl and mumble-growl sporadically while he reads the newspapers.  There’s no pattern to his growls and mumble-growls.  Every so often he makes these noises while reading the newspaper.

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-mumumumummumumumumum-rrrrrrrr!”

I happened to be in the washroom when Mr. Bear came in.  He growled and walked into a stall. And then he did his business with his growling interrupted by farting noises.  Mr. Bear can growl while he reads the newspaper, but he can’t growl and crap at the same time.

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrr—fart—Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr—fart—Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr—fart fart—Grrrrrrrrrrr—fart fart fart—Grrrr . . .  ”

At first, he growled more than he farted.  But the farting increased with the growling decreasing.  Finally his farting crescendo reached a climax, and Mr. Bear growled relief.

Mr. Bear growled when he left the stall and washed his hands.  He stopped growling as he left the washroom.

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About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on February 12, 2017, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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