Thoughts Before Valentine’s Day
In my relationships, women would tell me how perfect I was for them and then set out to change me.
Women never liked the way I dressed. I like dark colors. “You’re too drab,” they would say. “I’m gonna brighten up your clothing.” Then they would buy me bright clothes and argue with me because I didn’t want to wear them. I don’t like bright clothing. I don’t want people relying on my clothes to light up the room when the power goes out.
I love pockets! From the time I was a little boy, I love putting stuff in my pockets. What kind of stuff? Stuff! For years I have worn a fisherman’s vest because it has lots of pockets to put stuff in. My fisherman’s vest has never been popular with my partners.
“You’re not going to wear that, are you?”
“You look ridiculous with those bulging pockets.”
“And what do you keep in those pockets?”
“Stuff to help me mind my business.”
That last line usually led to an argument.
Then there’s my diet. All my partners have told me that I don’t eat properly, and that I eat too many bananas. They say that too many bananas are not good for me. They could be right, but I don’t think so. I plan to eat bananas after I die.
Other things that come to mind, especially when I was married, was how I was doing things that I did not want to do and going places I did not want to go to.
The chances of me getting into a relationship between today and Valentine’s Day are slim. So, I will be alone on Valentine’s Day. What a shame! I won’t have anyone telling me how to dress, what to eat, or where to go. Will I survive?