I love my privacy and my space!   When I find a table at the library, I pick a corner and wall myself off with my travel case and duffle bag.    I leave room for the three other places at the table, but wall myself off from the rest of the world.  I feel safe doing so, and I need to feel safe before I crawl inside my head.

I have used my travel case and duffle bag to wall myself off since before the Big Bang and have never had any complaints.

Yesterday,  I had my case and bag on the table.  The two seats opposite me were always occupied, but the seat beside me was mostly empty with people sitting in it occasionally.  No one complained.

Late in the day, the librarian and security guard approached me.  No one was in the seat beside me.

“Would you mind taking your bags off the table?” said the librarian.  “No one has complained, but there will be more room for others sitting at the table.”

I looked at the two men sitting opposite me and they shrugged their shoulders.

“People have been sitting here all day and they have lots of room,”  I said.

“I know,” she said, “but it looks better with your bags off the table, and anyone sitting beside you will have more room.”

I took down my walls.  I felt so vulnerable!  Now transmissions from aliens could get through to me.  Now I was not protected from the world.  How could I safely crawl inside my head?

The seat beside me remained empty.  The seat beside me remained empty.  The seat beside me remained empty.

A homeless woman, who sat at a place behind me, came and removed the chair beside me.  Now no one could use the space beside me.  The homeless woman used the chair to jam in her big black stinky bag to the wall beside her chair.  She always uses two chairs:  one to sleep in, and one to protect her big black stinky bag.  So, this homeless woman made the space beside me unusable, and used up two chairs.

Where’s the librarian to tell Miss Homeless that she can’t use two seats?  Where’s the librarian when people talk loudly on their cell phones in an area marked Quiet Study Area?  Where’s the librarian when some guys masturbate while at a computer?

I know, life is not fair.  I would save myself a lot of grief if I could accept this.

I thought of another way to protect myself from alien transmissions and the world.  I will invent pencils that project a force field.  I will place one pencil on the table in front of me, one pencil to my left and one to my right.  (This will be okay unless the library comes up with a rule that you can’t have more than one pencil on a table.)  The force fields from my pencils will protect me while I crawl inside my head and explore the vast emptiness there.


About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on October 14, 2016, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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