When I was younger, I was lonely and wanted a relationship.  There were times when I could not buy a relationship.  (Actually I could, but I did not want to hang out in that part of town.)

Now I am older and not lonely.  I enjoy the freedom of coming and going when I please.  I cannot believe the number of opportunities for relationships that keep popping up.

Last night at a grocery store, I walked towards the banana stand.  I saw a woman near the banana stand smiling at me.  She was pretty, a little overweight and dressed in bright, bright colors.  There would be no problem seeing things if the lights suddenly went out in the store.

At first I ignored her because my focus was on buying bananas, but she kept staring and smiling.  I looked up, smiled, and then returned to focusing on which bananas to buy.  (For those who don’t know me, I love bananas and needed to stock up because I was down to my last 147.)

She walked over to me and said, “Aren’t you going to wish me a happy birthday?”

Her question stunned me.  It broke my banana concentration.  The question suggested that I must know her.  She did look like a woman I had not seen in over 12 years.  Her birthday was July 25.

“Your birthday is July 25?”

“No it’s tomorrow, August 12.”

“Sorry, but your question suggested that I should know you, and you look like a woman I have not seen in a long time.  Her birthday is July 25.”

“So, aren’t you going to wish me a happy birthday?”

“Happy Birthday for tomorrow.”

I returned to focusing on which bananas to buy.  I thought she would walk away, but she didn’t.

“What sign are you?” she asked.

I wanted to answer, “I’m a virgin.”  I thought my silly answer would lead to further conversation, which I did not want, so I answered correctly.

“I’m a Taurus.”

“Oh Taurus!  I once had a boyfriend who was a Taurus.  He had lots of women and cheated on me.”

I had managed to select some bananas and said, “That would not work for me.  Women lose interest in me once they find out I have no money.”

I could hear her laughing out loud as I turned and walked away.


About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on August 12, 2016, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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