WHERE TO? WHAT NEXT?

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Where to?  What next?  I don’t know.  I sit down now and start writing not sure where I will end up.  That makes writing simultaneously exciting and scary.   Facing a blank page is facing the unknown, and the unknown is exciting and scary.

I have a love/hate relationship with the unknown.  Well, it is not exactly love and hate.  I love the excitement and surprise of not knowing, but I don’t love the not knowing.  I would not call it hate.

What a paradox!  I love being excited and surprised by the unknown, but I don’t love not knowing when the unknown is going to excite and surprise me.  There is no excitement and surprise if I know when the unknown is going to excite and surprise me.  Still, the fear of not knowing is strong, and I want to lose it by knowing.

Most of the time—at least I want to believe it’s most of the time—I force myself to write regardless of the fear of the unknown.  Sometimes I allow the fear to cause me come up with excuses for not writing.  I never feel good about myself when I do this.

I did not come up with an excuse today.  I sat down with no clue of what I was going to write and faced the unknown.  What fun discovering the where to? and the what next?  I am looking forward and not looking forward to doing so tomorrow.

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About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on August 9, 2016, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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