WHERE TO? WHAT NEXT?
Where to? What next? I don’t know. I sit down now and start writing not sure where I will end up. That makes writing simultaneously exciting and scary. Facing a blank page is facing the unknown, and the unknown is exciting and scary.
I have a love/hate relationship with the unknown. Well, it is not exactly love and hate. I love the excitement and surprise of not knowing, but I don’t love the not knowing. I would not call it hate.
What a paradox! I love being excited and surprised by the unknown, but I don’t love not knowing when the unknown is going to excite and surprise me. There is no excitement and surprise if I know when the unknown is going to excite and surprise me. Still, the fear of not knowing is strong, and I want to lose it by knowing.
Most of the time—at least I want to believe it’s most of the time—I force myself to write regardless of the fear of the unknown. Sometimes I allow the fear to cause me come up with excuses for not writing. I never feel good about myself when I do this.
I did not come up with an excuse today. I sat down with no clue of what I was going to write and faced the unknown. What fun discovering the where to? and the what next? I am looking forward and not looking forward to doing so tomorrow.