MY BIAS AGAINST DOCTORS

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I have a bias against doctors and drug companies.  The following scenario shows why:

PATIENT:  Doctor, my headaches have stopped.  It’s been awhile since I had one.

DOCTOR:  That’s good, but we still should go through with the scheduled surgery and cut off your head.

PATIENT:  Why?

DOCTOR:  To prevent any further headaches.

PATIENT:  But I don’t have any headaches and it’s been a long time since I had one.

DOCTOR:  Yes, and cutting off your head will make sure that you never get another headache again.

PATIENT:  How will I get by with no head?

DOCTOR:  We will attach an artificial head to your neck.  It will look like your real head.

PATIENT:  Really?

DOCTOR:  Yes, people won’t know the difference.  The only thing is that you will be on medication for the rest of your life to prevent your body from rejecting your new head.

PATIENT:  On pills for the rest of my life?

DOCTOR:  Yes.  Now the only side effects with these pills is that you may experience nausea, vomiting, and dizziness.  But after a month, or two, your body will adjust to the medication and these side effects will stop.  During the month, or two, I can prescribe medication that will stop the nausea, vomiting and dizziness.

PATIENT:  Are there any side effects from that medication?

DOCTOR:  Yes, it may cause your new head to hurt.

PATIENT:  A headache in my artificial head?

DOCTOR:  Yes, but it will only be for a month, or two, until you adjust to the pills that will prevent your body from rejecting your new head.

PATIENT:  But I am no longer getting headaches.  If I did get one, couldn’t you give me a pill for the headache and I keep my head?

DOCTOR:  I could do that, but what if the headaches happen a lot?  Then you’re taking pills for the headaches all the time.  It’s best that we cut off your head to prevent you getting headaches ever again.

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About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on June 7, 2016, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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