I was about eight years old and my daddy yelled at me for something I had not done.  For whatever reason, he blamed me.  I can’t remember what it was I supposedly did or why Daddy blamed me.  I was devastated!   How unfair!

“I’ll show you, Daddy!” I thought.  “I’ll run away and then you’ll miss me and be sorry for yelling at me.”

But it was no fun running away if I couldn’t see my daddy missing me and feeling bad.  I decided to climb the next-door neighbor’s tree in his backyard.  I had climbed this tree many times before.  From there I could see into my kitchen window and a partial view of the dinning and living rooms.  I could enjoy watching my daddy missing me.

Off I went out the door.  No one asked me where I was going.  I climbed the tree and had a perfect view.

“Okay, Daddy, miss me!”  I said to myself.

I watched and waited.  No signs of being missed, but any time now Dad should notice I was  gone.  I could see my mommy and brother and sisters carrying on.  My daddy was in the living room reading the newspaper.

After awhile I had to pee, but I could hold it.  I waited.  Still no sign of “Where’s Gary?  Maybe I shouldn’t have yelled at him.”

Dark clouds started to crowd the clear sky, and it was getting colder.

I waited.

It started spit rain.

I waited.

Still no sign of Daddy missing me.  I could still see him reading the newspaper.

Now it was doing more than spitting rain and it was cold.  This made my having to pee worse.

Finally I climbed out of the tree and went into the house.  I was gone several(?) hours.  No one asked me, “Where were you?”  Daddy never even looked up from the newspaper.  No one missed me!

The only relief I got that day was when I finally went to the bathroom.


About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on May 20, 2016, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

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