MY RATIONAL CONSERVATIVE FRIEND’S BELIEFS

Solid

 

I cannot mention enough how my conservative friend’s reasoning fascinates me.  Like all of us humans, he will find a way to twist logic to keep his beliefs.

 

On God:

There is no God.  There can’t be a God because God does not exist.  How can there be a God when God does not exist?

 

Life:

Life on Earth happened by accident.  It was not created by God because there is no God.

Earth is the only planet in the entire Universe that has life.  Life does not exist anywhere else because it only exists on Earth.

 

Aliens and Flying Saucers:

There are no such things as aliens and flying saucers.  How can there be aliens when Earth is the only planet that has life?  And since there are no aliens, then there can be no flying saucers.

 

Corporations:

Corporations are good for the economy.  They create jobs and make money honestly.  On a rare occasion you may get an accountant cooking the books.  That is an isolated incident.  It hardly happens.   The liberal media make big deals out of minor corporate accounting errors because the media is run by communists who hate capitalism.  They are always trying to make capitalism look bad.

 

Unions:

Unions have too much power and are run by communists trying to bring down capitalism.

 

Conservatism:

Conservatives are good.  Everything conservatives do is good.  Liberals and communists are evil.   Everything they do is evil.  This world would be a better place if it wasn’t for liberals and communists ruining things.

 

By the way, my capitalist, conservative friend refuses to buy newspapers.  “They cost too much money,” he says.  He frequents coffee shops and libraries where he can get the newspapers free.

He also benefits from Canada’s socialist free healthcare system with his occasional visits to the doctor and hospital.

And finally he struggled for several years to get into the actor’s union so he could make more money on movie sets.

He says that the above behaviors do not go against his beliefs.  Why?  “Because they don’t,” he says.  End of story.

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About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on May 17, 2016, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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