ACIDIC HULLS ROT
We all know an Acidic Hulls Rot. Acidic Hulls Rot is an anagram for Critical Should. Acidic Hulls Rots are people who find fault with whatever you do, and then tell you how you should have done it. Given the negativity these people generate, Acidic Hulls Rot is a better name than Critical Should.
My 2015 income taxes are done, complete, finished. I filed them before the deadline. Did I mention that my taxes are done? I know because I did them.
The other day, an Acidic Hulls Rot starts up on the telephone. He asks about my taxes.
“Yeah, I did them and got them in four days before the deadline,” I said.
Can the subject end there? My taxes are done. Oh no, not for Acidic Hulls Rot. He has to be helpful.
“With your low income,” he says, “you should have your taxes done free at a tax clinic.”
“No,” I said, “those clinics won’t do them if you’re self-employed. Besides, I like doing them myself so I can learn.”
“Well, you don’t make a lot of money being self-employed. Since there’s no record of your earnings, you should have not claimed them, and went to a clinic and got your taxes done free.”
“But I don’t want to get my taxes done free or by anyone. I want to do them to learn.”
“What’s there to learn?” he said. “You get to keep the money that the government doesn’t know about, and get your taxes done free.”
“I don’t mind declaring what I make,” I said. “That way I have no worries if they audit me.”
“But you shouldn’t claim everything. People don’t claim everything they make. What are you, stupid?”
“I don’t care what people do. I have to look at myself in the mirror when I shave. I like to be honest so I don’t have to worry about remembering what I said.”
“But you could have gotten your taxes done free by not declaring all your income.”
“Did I ask you for advice?”
“No but nothing!”
“Well, I was only trying to be helpful,” said the Acidic Hulls Rot.
My encounters with Acidic Hulls Rots is payback time. I used to be one. I used to judge and criticize. I used to offer advice when it wasn’t asked for. I don’t like tasting my own medicine. Yuck!