The North York Central Library does not open until 1:30 p.m. on Sundays.  I arrive early and sit in the North York Centre Food Court, minding my business, waiting for the library to open.  There are others, like me, who mind their business in the food court until the library opens.  On Sundays and most days, the food court is never crowded and there are lots of seats available.

A security guard came along while I was minding my business.  He stopped at where I was sitting.  I looked up at him and nodded.  He did not nod back.  I could tell from how he was looking at me that he wanted to nail me with something.

“You can’t take up two chairs with your bag and coat,” he said.  “Somebody might want to sit there.”

There were many, many vacant seats and NO people to sit in them.  That’s why I, and mostly everyone around me, was taking up two places with our belongings.

“But there are lots of seats available and no one to sit in them,” I said.

“It doesn’t matter.  Someone might want to sit there and you can’t take up two seats.”

I lost it.  I went into a rant about how security is ALWAYS around looking for minor stuff that does not matter, and NEVER around for major stuff that does matter.

“You have to move your belongings.  You can’t take up two chairs.  Somebody might want to sit there.”

I moved my things while looking around seeing that almost everybody was taking up two chairs with their belongings.  He only seemed to notice me and said nothing to anyone else.

The security guard no sooner left when a man came along and sat in one of the many, many empty seats.  This man did not have his mind with him.  He must have lost it somewhere.  He started to rant about Jewish people.

“The Jews are touching my head!  The Jews are killing the Palestinians!  The Jews are causing the bad economy!  The Jews this.  The Jews that …”

The Nutty Nazi carried on for about ten minutes before leaving.  Where was the security guard?  He was off somewhere making the Universe a better place.


About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on February 28, 2016, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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