THOUGHTS ON MY FUNERAL
I have been to several funerals where the loved one had left specific instructions that his or her funeral was to be a happy occasion, a celebration with joy and laughter and No Tears Allowed. What a strain these instructions put on family and friends! They had to fight hard to hold back tears so they could honor the wishes of the dead.
At one time I, too, thought how I wanted no tears at my funeral. I wanted only laughter, jokes and joy. Seeing the pressure this wish puts on people has made me change my mind. Telling people that they should feel a certain way is not right. What is right is for people to feel how they feel no matter what the occasion.
When my body becomes a corpse and I am elsewhere celebrating my Lightness of Being, it is okay for people to cry at my funeral. It is also okay for people to laugh and joke and do silly things. Anything goes. People can do whatever they have to do to cope with their feelings.
As for the service? I have no religious affiliations. I believe in a God far beyond the violent, vengeful, jealous character in The Bible. God loves unconditionally, and there isn’t a place in the Universe where God is not. How arrogant for the clergy to feel they have to perform certain rights and ask God to accept a person’s soul otherwise the soul is lost. Why would God need to accept what was always part of God and always will be? (Imagine a person dies on a Monday, and the funeral is on the following Friday. What is God going to say to this person on Monday, “Sorry, I can’t accept you until Friday when Father O’ Fitzinfarter conducts the service.”?)
The service can be whatever my friends and relatives want. Again, anything goes. If they want to give me an Orthodox Jewish funeral because I am circumcised, then so be it. I won’t care and it won’t matter. Death will slow down my reaction time. Several centuries will pass by the time I realize that someone said or did something I did not like.
I am not planning on going soon. But when I do go, I hope all enjoy my FUNeral.