IS JESUS COMING?
A woman I know is religious. She keeps trying to save me. She told me that I will go to Hell unless I accept Jesus as my Saviour.
“I have an asbestos suit ready for the occasion,” I said.
“You shouldn’t joke about this. Jesus is coming back soon,” she said.
“Really? Coming back from where?”
“Is that so? And where is Heaven?”
“Above, in the sky.”
“So it’s separate from where we are now?”
“And, God is in Heaven?”
“Okay. Will you agree with me that God is everywhere?”
“If God is everywhere, then how can Heaven not be everywhere?”
“Uh-I don’t know.”
“If God is everywhere, then how can he or she–”
“It’s he,” she said interrupting. “God is a man.”
“Okay. If God is everywhere, then how can he go away? Where is he going to go to that isn’t everywhere? And how can he come back when he is always everywhere?”
“Uh-er-I don’t know,” she said. “Satan is using you to try to confuse me and make me lose my faith. You’re going to burn in Hell for that!”
She stormed off—much to Satan’s relief. He’s a busy being. He has better things to do than to spend time getting me to ask Christians questions.