HOW THE WORLD WORKS

Gold bars

I know how the world works.  The only thing that matters is money.

I am the same the person whether I have money, but not to other people.  When I have money, people call me Mr. Johnston.  When I don’t have money, people call me Gary.

Lately, people have called me Gary.  You never know.  Good Fortune could smile upon me and I go back to being Mr. Johnston.

On November 17, I was forced to open a bank account at the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce (CIBC) when I tried to pay a tax bill.  CIBC would not accept cash for a bill payment because of new government regulations on money laundering.  “We need to know who is giving us money,” said the teller.  I opened an account to pay the bill.

My credit rating is somewhere between a mud puddle and a dung beetle.  With no corporate donations, sponsorship or government grants, my credit rating took a nosedive.

Because of my credit rating, CIBC  holds all deposits into my account for four business days.  Whether I deposit five dollars or five hundred dollars, I cannot access any funds for four days.

Coincidentally, I opened an account with President’s Choice Financial  (PC Financial) at the same time I was forced to open the CIBC account.  CIBC owns PC Financial.  With my poor credit rating, PC Financial gave me instant access to the first $500.00, and holds anything above that for three business days.  PC Financial had sent me a letter about my access, and I showed the letter to the CIBC  staff.

“We have nothing to do with President’s Choice Financial,” they said.

“But CIBC owns PC Financial,” I said.

“Yes, but we have nothing to do with them,”  they said.

“I have to use CIBC bank machines to get access to my PC Financial bank accounts.”

“Yes, but we have nothing to do with them.”

“But a CIBC employee accessed the PC Financial database, from his CIBC computer, to verify my name and address when he opened the CIBC account for me.”

“Yes, but we have nothing to do with PC Financial.”

Not having immediate access to the money in my CIBC account does not affect me.  I have all the access I need through my PC Financial accounts.

If I went to the CIBC with a million dollars and told them that I would only deposit it if they removed the hold from my account, then CIBC would say, “No problem, Mr. Johnston.  How much access would you like?”

That is how the world works.

 

 

 

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About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on December 10, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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