Jonathan Swift (November 30, 1667 – October 19, 1745)


Mark Twain (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910)

My good friends Jonathan Swift and Mark Twain were born on this date.  Jonathan is 348 years young and Mark is 180 years young.  (Have you noticed how we say “years young” for people who are well up there in age?)

To honor these giants of tragedy, I make November 30 a Universal Humorous Holiday (UHH).  It was a private holiday for me, but both Jonathan and Mark told me to open it up to the public.  I listened to them because dead people are smarter than those of us still eating and breathing and going toiley.  (Going toiley can be a problem.  I’m looking forward to being dead so I won’t have to worry about finding clean public washrooms.)

What to do on UHH?  Take the day off work for a laugh without telling your boss.  Too bad if he or she can’t take a joke.  If bosses are worth anything, then they, too, will take the day off for a laugh.

What else to do on UHH?  Dentists suggest that we should eat lots of candy and chocolate and other sweets all day.  Sounds like fun.

FUN — that’s the idea!  Always make it fun no matter what you decide to do on this Universal Humorous Holiday.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have Jonathan and Mark’s birthday party to get to.  Won’t they be surprised when I come out of their birthday cake in my birthday suit.  Getting to the party will be a challenge because my GPS often dies in the afterlife.









About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on November 30, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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