WRITING, RELIEF, AND EXPECTATIONS
Writing is therapy. What relief posting my Thanksgiving experience on the TTC! It took several attempts at writing about it after it happened on Monday October 12. But from October 25 to October 28 I kept writing about it in spite of the pain, and now the pain is gone. Writing helped me to think about why I was upset.
In retrospect, the experience showed me how I caused my pain. I agree with my good friend Epictetus who said, “It’s not what happens to us that causes us problems, but how we view what happens to us.”
I expected that a TTC employee would help me when I had a problem on TTC property. This was a reasonable expectation, but it was an expectation. Expectations often clash with reality as mine did on Thanksgiving Monday. My expectation was so strong that I caused my shock when the TTC operator did not do what I expected him to do. If I had realized this, when the drunk was kicking the bottle at me, then I would not have been traumatized.
As long as I have been on this planet, behind all my anger and pain is an unmet expectation that always clashes with reality. I cause my anger and pain as long as I cling to the unmet expectation.
“It’s not what happens to us that causes us problems, but how we view what happens to us.”
I am grateful to the TTC collector for reminding me that my expectations will cause me problems if I take them seriously.