I DON’T CARE WHY I LOVE BANANAS

bananasfI love bananas!  Never mind putting them on cereal or ice cream or making banana bread.  These recipes desecrate a banana.  I peel and eat them while they are still pure.

I have always loved bananas.  As far back as I can remember, when I was minus a million years old, I loved bananas.  I can eat eight to twelve daily for breakfast and never get sick of them.   And if I have enough, then I will have some for lunch and dinner, too.  With bananas as a meal, I never have to worry about doing dishes.  The peel keeps the banana clean if I cannot wash my hands before eating one.

I do not know why I love bananas, and I do not care.  I love bananas because . . .  just because.

Many adults must explain my love of bananas.  Some call me a monkey or an ape and say that is the reason.  Others have said that I am a latent homosexual with the banana being a phallic symbol.  I have heard both explanations many times, and just heard the latent-homosexual reason recently.

There was a big stink back in 2011 over a banana thrown at a black hockey player.  Some saw it as a racist act.  It would not bother me if people threw bananas at me—gently, of course, so I could catch them.  If I am latent homosexual, then when is my homosexuality going to wake up?  How long can I be a latent homosexual?   I have had no wish to sleep with a male since my brother and I wet the bed together when we were kids.

Why do adults always want a reason for things?  Why can’t they accept that I love bananas because . . . just because?

My love for bananas is so great that it destroys any offense I may choose to have over these silly explanations, or any other silly explanation for why I love bananas.

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About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on July 9, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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