WHEN I GROW UP I WANNA BE . . .
Posted by Gary Johnston
Now what? No words are coming. I wish the words would flow out of me.
“Oh, but they are. Just listen.”
Okay. I am listening . . .
As a kid, I always changed my mind about what I wanted to do when I grew up. I thought about being Superman, but I did not like the idea of the trouble I would go through taking off my super clothes when I had to poop. Besides all the layers of clothing to pull down, I could not guarantee that my cape would not fall into the toilet and get caca on it. So much for being Superman.
I would see a television show about a lawyer, and I wanted to be a lawyer. Then I would see a show about a scientist, and I wanted to be a scientist. I liked chemistry. I liked biology. I liked physics. I wanted to be a scientist using all three of these areas, but adults said that I could not. “You can only be a chemist, or a biologist, or a physicist. You cannot be all three,” said adults who were always taking the fun out of things.
A pirate! I saw a movie about a pirate and wanted to be a pirate—a good one of course. But I was born in the wrong century. No one sailed good old-fashioned pirate ships any more.
All the while I was changing my mind about various careers, I was getting older. I had to find a job after finishing school. I worked at various jobs and ended up quitting them.
My passions thrive in the Creative Universe. I love playing with ideas. But there is something I love more than playing with ideas—although playing with ideas is part of this activity. I love farting around! I can fart around for hours and never get bored. I could fart around forever and never get bored.
“Gary,” people ask, “what are your goals? Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I answer, “My goal is to get paid for farting around. In five years, I will be at a job that pays me to fart around.”