WHEN I GROW UP I WANNA BE . . .

Now what?  No words are coming.  I wish the words would flow out of me.

“Oh, but they are.  Just listen.”

Okay.  I am listening . . .

what

As a kid, I always changed my mind about what I wanted to do when I grew up.  I thought about being Superman, but I did not like the idea of the trouble I would go through taking off my super clothes when I had to poop.  Besides all the layers of clothing to pull down, I could not guarantee that my cape would not fall into the toilet and get caca on it.  So much for being Superman.

I would see a television show about a lawyer, and I wanted to be a lawyer.  Then I would see a show about a scientist, and I wanted to be a scientist.  I liked chemistry.  I liked biology.  I liked physics.  I wanted to be a scientist using all three of these areas, but adults said that I could not.  “You can only be a chemist, or a biologist, or a physicist.  You cannot be all three,” said adults who were always taking the fun out of things.

A pirate!  I saw a movie about a pirate and wanted to be a pirate—a good one of course.  But I was born in the wrong century.  No one sailed good old-fashioned pirate ships any more.

All  the while I was changing my mind about various careers, I was getting older.  I had to find a job after finishing school.  I worked at various jobs and ended up quitting them.

My passions thrive in the Creative Universe.  I love playing with ideas.  But there is something I love more than playing with ideas—although playing with ideas is part of this activity.  I love farting around!  I can fart around for hours and never get bored.  I could fart around forever and never get bored.

“Gary,” people ask, “what are your goals?  Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I answer, “My goal is to get paid for farting around.  In five years, I will be at a job that pays me to fart around.”

fartaround

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About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on May 26, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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