People like Kenny Conservative (see previous blog) do not trust themselves.  They fear listening to that Still Small Voice inside.  They have trouble expressing their feelings.  They always look outside themselves for guidance and answers.

My father was like that.  He used to ridicule me for expressing what was inside me.  “What the hell do you know?” he asked.  “Who the hell do you think you are?”  I soon learned not to trust or express my feelings, and to think the authority outside me was wiser than The Authority inside me.

It has taken many years for me to undo what I learned, and trust myself.  What a journey learning that The Authority inside me, the Wisdom of the Ages, is wiser than any human authority.  And I am still learning, growing.  It is an ongoing process.

People like Kenny and my father do not allow for growth.  Fixed beliefs gives them security.  Allowing for growth means uncertainty, insecurity.  Better to have fixed beliefs and listen to a human authority figure .  It is safe that way.  There are no risks.

I will not pretend that I do not long for certainty and security.  I will not pretend that following my Inner Guidance is always pleasant and fun—especially when I barely have enough money to buy food.  But I trust my Inner Guidance knows why I need to experience what I am going through.  My Inner Guidance sees the big picture.  I see only the brushstrokes.  And as much as that Still Small Voice appears wrong to human reasoning, I listen to it because I know it comes from a place beyond human reasoning, beyond human thought.

Am I stupid or courageous?  The answer depends upon your beliefs.  Kenny says that I am stupid.  Other people have told me that they admire my courage.   Perhaps I am stupidly courageous.

No matter what, I will listen to that Still Small Voice.   It knows better than I do what is good for me, and the highest good for all.


About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on May 22, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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