THE ONE THING I HATE ABOUT WINTER

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I can handle the snow.  I can handle the bitter cold.  I do so by wearing forty-seven layers of winter clothing.  Sometimes I overdress, but that is no problem.  I can always take off clothing if I get too hot after I have left home.  But I cannot put on extra clothing if I did not put it on before I left home.  And this leads me to the one thing I hate about winter:  going to the bathroom.

Going to the bathroom becomes such a chore in getting through forty-seven layers of winter clothing.  Public washroom stalls are not big which makes the taking off and putting on of clothing—if you will pardon the pun—a pain in the ass.

How does Superman cope with going to the bathroom?  Are the blue tights and top, with the red S, one piece?  If it is, then that makes things worse in taking it off to go to the bathroom.  Let’s say that the blue tights and top are two pieces.  Superman can only pull the tights, with his red panties, down to his knees because of his red boots.  And then there is his cape.  How does he keep his cape from falling in the toilet when he sits down?  What if he has to go to the bathroom while he is the mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent?  He has to deal with his Clark-Kent clothing as well as his Superman suit.

Poor Superman!  Thinking about what he has to go through, when he goes to the bathroom, gives me some perspective.  Perhaps my fighting with my forty-seven layers of winter clothes, when it is time to do my business, is not so bad.

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About Gary Johnston

I am an imaginary number -- a symbol used to count and measure. As Senior Imaginary Number at Einstein Equations Incorporated, I facilitate the calculation of the impossible.

Posted on February 2, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. little sympathy from the “weaker sex”…we have to deal with this ALL the time… you have to deal with this only under certain “ablution” circumstances…..

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