I AM STILL HERE (AND FLOWING)
Several friends contacted me concerned about my last blog. They thought me depressed and suicidal. Perhaps I did not clearly express what I was trying to say.
I am ready to die in that I have no bucket list. I am not afraid to die. I have died many times. Death is no big deal. There are still things I would like to do, but it is okay if I do not do them before Death comes. (Will I have a choice?) When Death comes, I will welcome it with open arms. Perhaps I will invite Death to enjoy a banana with me before we go.
Although I feel that I am ready to die, I trust The Universe will send Death at the right time. Death cannot come at any other time other than the right time.
Having no fear of death is such a relief! The fear of death is the root of most of our fears.
In September, 2007, my sister scolded me for not having regular checkups. I had not been to a doctor for some time, and had no plans of going to see a doctor.
“You should go to a doctor,” she said. “You need to have regular checkups. You could have something seriously wrong with you and find out too late!”
She said that in September, 2007. I am still here without having seen any doctors. I trust my gut feeling will tell me whether I need to see a doctor.
Illness is not bad. Illness is my body telling me that I need to deal with an emotional issue that I have blocked and ignored. Illness gets my attention. What need is there for me to “battle” my illness. Illness is only a message. My gut feelings will guide me in how to deal with the emotional issue, and what to do to allow my body to cure itself. So far, so good.
I am not advocating this approach for anyone else. This is what works for me.
Each day that I am on this side of the grass I think, “What does life have in store for me today? What adventures will come my way?”
There are days when I am not enthusiastic about life; days I forget how happy I am; days I allow something to bother me. Most times a voice in my head can snap me out of my funk by saying, “You’re not afraid to die and you’re letting (whatever the problem) bother you?” I regain perspective; however there are times when I do not regain perspective. For whatever reason, I need to stay with the feeling. I do so for however long the feeling lasts. Blocking feelings leads to illness.
My feelings are part of The Flow. Up, down, all around goes The Flow! The Flow goes on forever. The Flow is Forever, and knows not of death.