MINDING MY BUSINESS
Minding my business is fun: everybody wants to do it. Everybody knows better than I, and better than my gut feeling, what is best for me and what I should do.
I enjoy my company. I am happy being alone. I am not lonely. Yet I have had some women tell me, “You’re not happy. Spending all your time alone is not good for you. If you were with me, then I would give you space to be alone.”
“But I don’t want to be in a relationship,” I say. “I already have my space without having to worry about someone giving it to me. I am happy being on my own.”
“No you’re not. It’s not good for you to be alone.”
In other words, “How you feel does not count because only I know what is good for you.”
The same attitude comes from family and friends. They do not approve of the actions resulting from my gut feelings. (My life in the arts.) My actions violate their dictum: Trust not yourself. Always look outward to outside authority for guidance. They want to mind my business to stop me from threatening their beliefs. They go out of their way to ask me what I am doing, and then give me all kinds of unsolicited advice.
I no longer tell them anything when they ask. They get angry. They say, “But we’re only trying to help you.” They do not see their help as overbearing-boundary-busting. Now when they ask me, “What are you doing?”
“Minding my business,” I say. “How about you?”